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Jason Mendoza: “Am I Dead or Something?”

We have interviewed Jason Mendoza right after he realized he had passed away.

Hi, Jason.

Can you see me? Can you hear me?

Of course. How are you?

Not so great. I knew eating a Nutella burrito was a bad idea, but it tastes so good and you can make one really fast, so…

Sure, we get you. How is life after death treating you?

The Good Place ain’t too bad. I miss my buddies of course, but since my best friend has just decided to rob a bank with a water gun, I guess he’s gonna get here soon.

How do you spend your days?

Well, I’m really glad to see you cause technically, I’m a Buddhist monk. I’ve eaten very lil’ for a week. Honestly, if you’e a parent and your kid doesn’t finish dinner, don’t talk to him or her about lil’ African kids. Just tell’em: “If you don’t eat that up, you’ll end up like Jason, eating roots and drinkin’ rain water for eternity. That will work for sure.”

We will remember it. Were you able to make some friends here, Jason?

Well there’s this guy, Chidi. But when I asked him to play video games with me, he took five hours to choose one, and then finally left it in the box cause it was a war game, and that’s not clerical.

Do you mean "not ethical?"

Yeah, that’s what he said. He refused to watch a DVD too ’cause the box was made in China. And also, he panicked when I showed him my 300-movie collection.

Anyone else you find nice?

I dunno about nice, but nice-looking, for sure. There’s this gal, Tahani, who showed me a picture of her. She started her speech at 2pm, and when I came back at 6.30 with frozen yogurt, she was still standing there.
Oh, and there’s also Eleanor. I like her: I saw her explain to a waiter that there was a shortage of shrimps in the Good Place. once the waiter was gone, I saw Eleanor carry boxes of shrimps to her place. My kind of girl alright.

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