While ordinary people meet St. Peter in heaven, Florida men meet… Jason Mendoza.
Trouble in Paradise
“There was a time when Florida men went directly to the Bad Place, no questions asked,” Michael, angel in chief, explains. “It just made the admin work easier.”
“However, nowadays, values are completely falling apart,” Shawn continues. “With the new system, men who were stupid enough to slap their girlfriend with a cheeseburger or get swallowed by an alligator while running from the cops might enter the Good Place. However, meeting Jason might be punishment enough.”
What does Jason say about it?
“I’m like the lawyer of these guys, you know.” Jason says proudly. “There’s a nice one who died taking a selfie on a the edge of a cliff. It wasn’t his fault. And it was on his wedding day, which makes it kind of sad. So I bleeded his cause.”
“You mean pleaded his cause?”Janet asks.
“Only women save Florida’s honor,” Janet resumes. “Well, just one, actually: Angela Basset. For men, well… Recently, the governor of Forida had to apologize for the existence of Matt Damon.”
Most Florida men still end up in the Bad Place
“Fortunately, most Florida Men do end up in the Bad Place” Trevor the demon rejoices. And they’re always a lot of fun. For example, we just had this guy in a dog costume who had filmed himself banging a husky. Shall I tell you what his eternal punishment is?”
Trevor bursts out laughing.
“And I’m not telling you what we’re planning for Donald Trump,” he adds.