After 70 years falling off cliffs and receiving rocks on his head, Wile E. Coyote finally retires, leaving Road Runner, the scorching desert and cruel screenwriters behind him.
What encouraged you to leave, Mr Coyote?
Well, for one, my bosses refused to raise my risk premium. No one would rent me a car or an apartment. My salary was too low and social security did not cover all the medical bills.
What about Road Runner?
What about him? I had to become a vegetarian. With a pension, at least, I’ll be able to offer myself a good steak once in a while.
Can you believe that Road Runner had a better pay while I was doing all the work? So they said that was because he had lines. Now I’m sorry but a single sound repeated again and again since 1950, that does not a line make.
What do your employers say about you quitting?
Road Runner and I have been running for years, so screenwriters were running… out of ideas. And running gags can’t go on forever, you know.
Even Road Runner would like to change careers: he’s had the same seeds for 70 years.